Review: Tots Week at Butlins Bognor Regis - part 2 (food, facilities and a small gripe)

For part one (getting there and accommodation) you can click here.

Facilities and activities

After we settled in, I asked Issy what she wanted to do and was met with "SWIMMING!!!!" So we grabbed our cossies which I had packed at the top of our case and headed to the pool, which was exactly the same - but older - than I remembered it as a kid. The changing rooms and pool area itself was clearly a bit tired, but there were signs saying they are about to build a new one, good news for future customers. Issy loved the pool and even braved the big slide with some friends she made on our last day.

After swimming we decided to visit the outdoor fun fair area as I'd heard there were dodgems (my fave!!) but unfortunately Issy and most the other kids were too short for many of these. How she needed to be over a meter to sit next to me in a dodgem car when she's been on them at every fun fair ever, I'll never know! Thankfully there were smaller indoor rides for the little ones and a soft play which kept us entertained on those rainy days or breaks between shows/activities.

I signed Issy up for numerous activities including mini-bow (archery) and balance bikes which she loved so much we did three times! There were also drop in sessions for crafts and Playdoh modeling, which were very popular. Show wise we loved Playdoh 3D and Mister Maker, but would have liked the option to chose which timing of Mister Maker we were allocated on arrival.

We avoided anything with an extra cost except for ice creams both onsite and on the beach, just a minutes walk from the main gates. It's worth mentioning how lovely and clean the beach was, but those seagulls are rife and a fair few kids lost their ice creams to them! Also the pebble dip onto the beach is quite steep so not very accessible with very little ones/pushchairs. The beach provided a very welcome place to escape, splash and chill away from the noise of the big white top at Butlins, which sometimes did get a bit much. There was also a lovely reading corner with beanbags and lots of books where you could just go and escape for a few minutes.

The food

We opted for the premium dining plan which meant we could have breakfast and dinner every day in The Deck located just outside our hotel. I wasn't sure what to expect as it is buffet, but the first night I was pleasantly surprised with the food being tasty, fresh and nicely presented. There was something for every taste and squash, tea, coffee and hot chocolate was included. Fizzy and alcoholic drinks were extra but reasonably priced.

After a cracking nights sleep, breakfast was well received and again really nice. Fresh fruit, cheese, made to order omelettes, breakfast toasties, pancakes and a full English on offer meant we could skip lunch and just go for an early dinner. Unfortunately on the second night the rather relaxed vibe from dinner had gone and it seemed like a bit of a free for all with it taking a while for food to be replenished. Due to this we decided to try out the trade in available for premier food guests where you give up dinner at The Deck in return for vouchers to use at any of the other outlets such as Papa Johns, the pub or Brian Turner's restaurant.

We opted for the pub which was great and we managed to get a three course kids meal & drink, plus decent steak, pudding and a pint for me which only cost £1.50 extra. It was so chilled with a play area outside, not to loud music and comfy seats. We enjoyed it so much that we had our final nights meal there too. The food package looks expensive on paper, but we found it a great way of eating out at times that suited us with no surprise costs at the end of the meal.


The bad


I've mentioned elsewhere how lovely most of the staff were and Issy really took a shine to a few of them, but unfortunately there's always one. In our case two.

Many of the redcoats are rather young and with their power did come a bit of rudeness. We found when queuing for character meet and greets they forgot that we were at a break for kids and kids don't always play ball when made to queue for ages. On one occasion we were a few from the back of the queue and I stood where another mum had stood to take a photo of Issy with the characters when I was blocked and ordered to stand elsewhere by a red coat. I moved just as my daughter was ordered out of the way before I could take her photo. When I said this, they told me it was my fault and to just go and buy the professional photo as "it is only £10!"

I explained I didn't have £10 for a photo and she rolled her eyes at me. The mum who had been behind me said she didn't mind Issy going up again but the red coat refused. Issy cried so we left. Customer service were fantastic and rectified it so we could have the photo, but it did leave a bad taste in my mouth.

This attitude was noticed by other parents too who noticed children being refused their photo with characters who were "on their way backstage" unless they wanted to go have them done by a professional and pay for the privilege. It may seem like a small thing, but remembering it's a tots break wouldn't have gone amiss.


The end

All in all we loved our little five day break and Issy was very sad to leave. I was sad to be returning to washing up and a mountain of clothing to be cleaned! We certainly would consider returning again as I think we had fantastic value for money, but would certainly go for one of the hotels again. Special shout out goes to the reception team at The Wave who were just delightful and great with the kids.

Have you ever been to a Butlins? What did you make of your visit? 

Review: Tots Week at Butlins Bognor Regis - part 1 (getting there and accommodation)

If you'd have told me a year ago that I'd go on a holiday a) to Bognor Regis and b) to Butlins I would have laughed. Butlins to me was somewhere we went to with day passes as kids and while I'm sure we had fun, they were never anything I was in much of a hurry to repeat.

Even when we booked up our week away, you'd see people smirking and I genuinely began to wonder if I'd made a mistake. Everyone spoke about drunk adults, arguments over the buffet and swearing in the swimming pool. However I'm pleased to say.... we loved our little trip!

We chose one of the Tots Weeks where all the activities are aimed at under 5s meaning that I knew there would be lots to keep Issy entertained. Mister Maker was there during our visit as well as Playdoh 3D and appearances from Tellytubbies and other popular children's characters.


Getting there

We got the train! I don't drive and I always think the train at Issy's age (it was the week before her third birthday) totally adds to the adventure. It was an easy ten minute walk from Bognor Regis train station even with a grumpy three year old and a suitcase and the stroll gave us our first sneaky peak at the beach! The town itself is a few minutes from the resort so if you want to leave the car at home but worry about grabbing any essentials then rest assured it's doable!

The accommodation

We had decided to go for a hotel and after looking at the 3 available, opted for The Wave as it seemed the most us. Check in was super easy despite us being early and we got a sneaky upgrade as we were there for madam's birthday. Reception staff were FAB and became invaluable for little nuggets of info throughout the week. 

Our room was way better than I expected with lovely bathroom (decent bath - yes!!!), super comfy big bed for me in the main living room area and a separate kids room with bunk beds (cue VERY excited child) and her own little TV! Our room had a little balcony that overlooked a car park and lovely play park across the road, but the noise never disturbed us. Great additions were a little fridge for the water (and *ahem* wine) and snacks we'd bought with us, plus decent quiet air conditioning.

Housekeeping were such stars throughout the week and made sure doggie (Issy's cuddly toy she is inseparable from) was kept entertained by making towel animals to occupy him and letting us borrow an extra towel for swimming when I accidentally placed ours out for washing.

On day one however there was lots to see so we dumped our bags, played around with some stuff in the room and headed out into the resort to find our way round!

For part two of our Butlins trip with information on facilities, food and our only issue with the visit, please click here.

Mummy, why won't you give daddy a kiss?

Because daddy walked out on us. Because daddy didn't care enough about us to keep trying. Because daddy broke mummy's heart and one day he will most likely break yours. Because the most important thing in daddy's life is daddy.

You'll be pleased to know none of that came out of my mouth and brain engaged in time to say "because mummy and daddy aren't friends like that anymore, but of course we still love you." I say that when she asks - which is getting more infrequent - why he isn't with us like her friends daddies but I'm not always sure the love is flowing from his end quite so freely. He laughed when she said I had to do a kiss goodbye. Laughed. Like it is funny that the man I promised to love for the rest of my life now repulsed me so much I don't want to even hear his name let alone blow a kiss down Skype.

I was strong when he was weak and I kept going. I didn't run away or turn to another man/woman for comfort. I turned to my daughter, my friends and my family. And yes, sometimes I cried myself to sleep because despite never actually being alone when you have a small child, I still felt so alone. He doesn't deserve her affection, her laughs and her smiles. I'm sure that sometimes he feels bad, but not for what happened and how he treated us but bad for himself. He was the victim in all of this. In his head.

I always knew one day I'd find myself crying again because of the ex-husband, I just thought I had a bit longer left before it stemmed from something the mini one said. I don't know what the future holds, but that laugh from him, that cruel laugh dissolved any shred of doubt I had that being a girls only house with just the mini one and I is the best thing.

She's my ball of everything and he's a figure from the past I have to tolerate, until he gets bored and decides it's all about him again. I know one day what has happened will all be my fault in her eyes as it was in his, but until then I will keep making her smile and doing my best to make her happy. Because that's what we both deserve and she can have all the kisses she wants from me.

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Separation: Staying strong for International Women's Day

When I knew my marriage was over, I started the grieving process. I'd lost something that was a huge part of my life and one day it wasn't there anymore. What was and remains the hardest part to process was that I wasn't just grieving for my marriage and the way all the good memories from the past were now tainted by how horrible the end was, but I was grieving for my family. I was grieving for what my daughter had lost. In one fell swoop she lost the normality of two parents, she lost her dad as a constant in her life and I lost my back up.

I'd always wanted to "do things properly" so marriage, kids, buying a house together, holidays arguing in caravans in Cornwall and whose turn it was to do the dishes. That was gone. I couldn't at the time imagine a way it was going to work just the two of us. I cried reading stories when the daddy comes home - Tiger who Came to Tea was particularly hard. My phone drowned in tears thanks to Adele, Coldplay and Spotify's break up list - yep that actually exists!

Then last weekend, I found myself sat in our local Bill's with my little girl having a cocktail (lemonade for her!) to celebrate one year of surviving each other. It wasn't sad and I didn't think about what could have been, I celebrated what we had achieved. Sometimes I'm her best friend, sometimes she doesn't like me and she doesn't want to talk to me. Either way I stick around because at the end of the day, she's a bloody great reason to celebrate life, not commiserate.

For International Women's Day I pledge to create a positive female role model for my daughter by being a single mum working hard to provide the best she can. This blog hopefully goes some way to showing my daughter that women can be strong, but still show emotions; tired, but still fighting; and thoughtful, but still fun.

Happy International Women's Day to all the amazing women, mums, daughters, sisters and aunties just trying their best.

One year on: being a single mum

Today marks a day I've dreaded for the last couple of weeks and as it's got closer and closer, I've wished it would just disappear. Today is the day our three became a two. I still remember getting that text message saying it was over and due to it also being my first day in a new job, having to keep calm and carry on. It hasn't been the easiest year but here's what I have learnt.

1. I'm not perfect. This has been a hard one to learn as I want my daughter to have the best, but sometimes I can't do that. I have low days, high days, stressed day, happy days and in between days just like everyone else and while I have to function, I am not a cBeebies presenter that always operates at full speed. 
2. Mum guilt. I've really struggled with this one especially while working full time. I'd throw myself into weekends and want to have days of just the two of us, but would forget to have days for me, which would leave me cranky and tired. For the next 12 months I am going to try and claim a bit of me time back and make sure I'm looking out for me too. In order to be a good mum I need to feel able to be a good mum and getting stressed and anxious won't do anything to help that.
3. It's lonely sometimes. Christmas, New Year, birthdays, Friday night.... Wednesday night! Despite number two saying I don't get me time, it's amazing how you can still feel quite lonely. I've got friends and family I can turn to, but we also have to function on our own and sometimes I find myself sat in the living room in the evening and just feeling so alone. There's no one else to help with the tantrums, late night wake ups, mountain of washing or messy dining table. It's just me. If I'm poorly and feeling ill... it's just me. Learning to deal with the silence has been quite a learning curve.
4. I'm stronger than I knew. There's been some serious ups and downs but we've come out the other end the right way up. The bills get paid, the lunch boxes get made and clothes get washed. What more can you ask for?
5. Laughing and hugs solve everything. Sure my kid may have just screamed down debenhams because she wasn't allowed a £20 Easter egg and I've turned a funny shade of horrified, but she's said sorry and given me a hug. Add a few laughs in and all is forgotten.

Being a single mum isn't what I signed up for, but it's what I've got. So time to look at the positives - more hugs, only one person to argue with not two and the chance to give my little girl a really positive female role model who works, cooks, cleans, plays, laughs, cries and most importantly is the best mum she can be*

*warning hangry is really a thing. She will learn arguing with mum when mum is hungry = no win!

And then there were two...

I will always remember the day I knew my marriage was truly over. Sure I still loved him and wanted more than anything to say I forgave him and of course we could try again, but I just couldn't. The words refused to come out. Those who know me know I'm not one to mince my words. If I want to say something I often do, but this time my usual self escaped me and all I could do was shake my head, say I'm sorry and walk away from the man some four years previously I'd stood with in front of our friends and family and promised to love and cherish forever.

The pain was so just intense and so raw there was nothing that could be done to take it back. You see that man had walked out on me. Not once, but twice. He packed his bags and left. Not just the house but the country... Twice. But I don't hate him, I hate the circumstances that lead to our ultimate end. He was the man who gave me our beautiful amazing intelligent little girl but he was also the man who made me break down in front of my daughter midway through reading Stickman to her at bedtime because I couldn't go on anymore.

Our marriage became toxic but it wasn't always that way. He Egyptian, me British, we met while working in the Middle East. We started as friends and when I went through one of the toughest times of my life out there, he saved me. He pulled me back from the brink and loved me, which is what I needed. Three years later we married and 7 months after that I got sick. A trip to the doctors showed I was pregnant. It was a difficult pregnancy and traumatic birth but the end result was perfection.

After struggling to find a way we could live out there and be good parents we decided the time had come to return to the uk. When she was 3 months old my daughter and I moved to the uk and the clock began. We'd agreed to give me a few months maternity leave before starting to find work. But I struggled to find something close to my parents that paid enough for me to meet the financial requirements of the spouse visa. I found something, but then the English language requirement came into play. My husband struggled to pass the listening segment of the test and despite taking classes it took a year and a half for him to get the required grade. We hadn't seen each other this whole time as all our money went on the visa and tests.

In September last year, he arrived. Day 1 was amazing. Day 2 however the cracks began to show. He didn't get that if our daughter woke up so did we, if she was hungry we got food, if she gets bored there's drama, if you say no... She screamed. He had arrived in time for the terrible twos. He still thought he was living the single life which I voiced my frustrations at but he threw it back that I cared more for our daughter than him. We argued a lot and one day when he was so withdrawn he watched our daughter knock over cups of coffee in Costa not once but twice. I lost my rag. I told him he was her father and I (who had been in the toilet) couldn't watch her all the time. She went to do something naughty a third time and he grabbed her. It scared the hell out of her. I pulled him off her and shouted he was to never do it again. He walked out the coffee shop.

The next day was my birthday and there was nothing. No card, no present, no look I've made dinner or shall we order something nice in... Just sat in silence watching tv. I cried myself to sleep that night.

I won't say too much about the leavings, the returns and the eventual goodbye, but they all hurt. I broke down, I picked myself up, I broke down again and when I picked myself up the second time knew this was it I couldn't continue the cycle anymore and enough was enough.

Things aren't always easy as a family of two and as she grows up I know we will face different challenges, but I love my daughter so much. Whether she's smearing yellow paint round the living room, leaving the freezer open, waking me up all night or smiling at me from across the park and saying she loves me... She's worth all the hard work.

This blog was set up to chronicle my life as a mum and wife, now it will stay as my journey of motherhood and the things I love. The highs, the lows, the happiness and the tears. I hope you will continue to follow.